Another chapter close: Eulogy

Was walking around town when I got a call saying my grandfather passed away. He was doing gardening when he had what I should say fatal MI. My reaction to mum's phonecall: Oh! So what now? When are you going back home for the funeral?

I'm amazed at how I act. In my imaginary world I would think I would cry but in reality of it, I just pause...let it sink and move on. Don't get me wrong, I am sad but I'm not going to wail my feelings out. I'm not so emotionally close to my grandfather as I would like to be. Growing up, I remember him as a very strict and fierce person. But the flaws work for him, producing good children and grandchildren with strong character and will. He had MI in 1994 resulting in CBAG. Still stubborn as he is, he continued smoking, old habits die hard they say.

I'm unable to fly back and attend the funeral. But I know in spirit I would be there to say my goodbye. I am sad that he couldn't live to see his grandchildren graduate as doctors. His dream was to see us graduate and help others in need. One more year.....one more year is more than enough. But God love His people and take care of them. The coincident is that in few days is my maternal grandfather death anniversary. I hope they join together in heaven and able to see us and care for us from above.

So, in this, I would say that I will not cry. I refuse to remember dear grandpa in sadness but I will remember him in happiness, knowing that he lived a good life and loved by the family.

Coming back for more...

‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight

Love Letter by Captain Wentworth (Persuassion)

Dearest Anne,

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice, when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating in F.W. I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.

F. Wentworth