Another Christmas song

Walking In The Air

Merry Christmas to all!!!

Wexford Carol


Christmas Song

Ridiculously busy

It's been a while since I wrote something. I never thought I'd say this but it seems that after 4 1/2 years in med school the stress is finally becoming real and palpable. I've no decent sleep the last 3 weeks. It's less than 2 months to final written and I'm still not studying to max speed.

As per surgical dry round, these are my current on going issues:

1. I've a TOSBA tomorrow and I'm still stuck reading about PVD. Oh sweet tortured life!
2. Need to work on my CV and send it to a consultant cardiologist for a recommendation letter. Had a fantastic 2 weeks as sub-intern with the team and he was VERY IMPRESSED with my performance ;)
3. Set up a study schedule for the Christmas holiday. Yes, I'm studying over the Christmas for the Feb 2009 exam. Thank you very much.

For whoever out there, pray for my sanity and mental strength for the next 3 months.

Will you still love me...

Reality TV at its worst

Definitely shocked when Austin was voted out from X-Factor. I think the judges are being complete ridiculous and selfish! The worst part is that some sub-average singer was safe from elimination. Complete mess! I hope Austin would have some singing contract going on soon, because his voice is heaven! Listen for yourself!!!

Coldplay "Lost" Acoustic

Nearly 12 hours sleep & long weekend

I finally had a decent sleep in 5 weeks. Almost 12 hours, I was so tired and drained. Did the routine vacuuming yesterday evening, the house looks much better. This Saturday is the start of a Halloween weekend bank holiday in Ireland, so extra day off on Monday, YAY!!!!

Initially, was planning to go shopping for a winter coat in Dundrum but the $ is not in yet so have to abandon the plan. So now, just woken up by the strong wind outside and the sound of raindrops splashing at my bedroom window. I don't like the Irish autumn, its windy and wet at the time, and the crazy autumn leaves make everything looks dirty!!! Still thinking about what I should do today. Oh, definitely doing some studying. There will be a mock surgery exam on All Saint's day. Still don't know the venue yet.

From the look of it, I'll be gaunt by the end of final med. I've not enough time to sleep and the appetite is decreasing. Even the food fails to entice me which rarely happened.

OK now I'm going off to do something more beneficial such as trying to have breakfast.

PS: I'm loving the Bodum french press coffee maker I bought!!!

Last night in Drogheda

Tonight will be the last night in Drogheda. After 4 weeks here, I will definitely miss this place. I find the surgical department very nice and very into teaching. I'm rather upset that I will not do my Sub-I in Drogheda.

Today was sh*t-time! Again, I'm in my usual down sensitive self after been trashed by the tutor in front of the group. Forgive me for not knowing the grading of splenic rupture!!!! Blame the notes I'm reading NOT me. I really thought it was 4, the note is wrong, it is 5. I tried to defend myself to no avail. After being embarrassed, I decide to just shut up and not answer anything unless its my turn. Maybe it showed in my facial expression that I was annoyed, he then said that "Sorry, I'm only messing with you". I don't like to messed about, I don't appreciate it. Don't try to be cute with me when I'm annoyed. The problem is I quite like the tutor despite his tendency to embarrassed me. I do admit that I got jealous when I knew he prefer someone else as favorite specially when he flaunt it. Sh*t-time indeed. I know I'm not smart enough.

Come to think of it, am I that worthless? What wrong with me? Everything else doesn't seem to work except only for my study. Am I married to this career I chose that nothing else matters? Fear and self pity, ruminating about it. Maybe I fear the unknown so I control what I know I can ie the study. I grew up thinking that I'm just plain. I am plain. I know I have nothing else to work with except my brain. I'm not beautiful, I'm fat, and I'm short. It feels bad enough when you know it's true. Last time someone told me otherwise, I freak out and leave the room. That is how bad it is, for I know it's untrue.

So if you ever wonder what I feel now, I feel ugly, unworthy and undeserving of anything wonderful in life.

The stars and moon must have been by my side today

Totally refreshing today, with nice weather and sunny day. While I was having butterflies waiting for TOSBA, the Prof came and announced that he will not do one this week because he is already impressed by the surgical group. "The last 3 TOSBAs is enough for to see that you all work hard and I sincerely think that the group is surprisingly excellent", he said. I had a feel good moment for a while and pat my own back for the good work. Anyways, he gave us tutorial instead about colorectal cancer and APRs. Cool stuff! He spills some pearls and word of wisdoms on how to study for the final and prepare for the surgical final long and short cases. He wish us luck before he finish and would be glad for us to apply for internship in OLOLH next July.

Maybe my new hairdo is bringing me the good luck.....hahahaha...

Mock exams in November, I'm a bit worried for I haven't study any medicine during this surgical attachment. Will work something out, and possibly consult Ms. E about it. I want both of us to do well (possibly honours) and get a job here in the future.

Alright, time to get back to reality and study study study.....nonstop.

HOT!!!!

People, I have a new eye candy. Austin Drage from X-factor 2008. Check out his performance.

Another silent late night

As my usual boring self, am trying to stay up today to read for tomorrow's TOSBA (that's bedside assessment exam for those who doesn't know what it is). This week it's my turn to do the physical examination. Let's hope it's not the Prof tomorrow! He's scary! I officially ran out of idea of what topic would come out tomorrow. Go with the flow!

Went to a social do earlier. Nice food and all. But I can't deny the fact it is somewhat a freaky atmosphere. Maybe I'm getting too old for those kind of gathering. I don't do social very much, prefer quiet company and talk. Too much crowd are just too much.

Maybe I should just try the wine bar at Georges St. next time. The place looks interesting. A nice glass of wine and a good friend to talk too, classy! Miss E, you can drink the Coca-Cola instead while I down few glasses of fine Chardonnay or Reisling. We should do it soon after the $$$ are in. What say you?

OK folks, I'm off to read some stuff.

Ciao bella!

Disturbed

Pretty bizzare day today. Was put on spot to answer a question on surgical ground today, thank God I could answer them and no thank you to the tutor who choose me to answer it. Then, off to the endoscopy suite for an hour. Another session of tutorial with the aforementioned tutor. I was mistaken as somebody else, was a bit sadden by that. Intelligently with a fake smile I reply, "That's her, not me". Then I totally loose focus and interest to answer "what are the possible contents of a hernia". Went rather snappy after that. Ever felt that you are insignificant? I do know now how it felt. Its crazy when you are totally visible yet invisible. Quite crushed by it.

After a few text messages to a friend, felt a bit better. I miss my friend. Its too busy nowadays to really catch up with whats going on.

Another weekend approaching. I've nothing much to plan except maybe a hair cut and the gym. Perhaps will look for birthday present for a friend.

Pancreatitis and other happenings

While I'm trying finish my pancreatitis notes, suddenly got the urge to spill some stuff for release. Today was a bit blue. Not really sure whats happening, slightly apathetic today. Was a great start to the day initially but it turn out off-key. It rained, and I badly need a new winter coat. Now, I have to admit that I have a minimal turn moderate crush on a tutor. He's simply too cute to look at. Of course, I didn't expect him to noticed, it's just for fun. Who would turn around and look at me anyway...? NOBODY!!!!! Learned it the hard way. Plus he has a new favorite now, just because I didn't say the right answer to his question of "Any of you want to be a surgeon?". I'm not going to answer YES or NO because I'm still 50-50 on it, so I point to someone who is likely to be one.

And now, while getting altered bowel motions due to caffeine overload......I realized how depressing the future could be. Whoever said that I should get a BF while in university should drop down dead by now and rot! Its totally impossible when all energy you got is to make sure you pass the exams. I could not fathom how some people could even have time to deal with all the mushy stuff. EURGHHHHHH! Not my style at the moment.

Ok, next stress inducer is some problem to talk to with the dean, not mine though. I understand that being the eldest means responsibility, but can people just stop and think about what I felt first, instead of pushing demands when there are millions to do? Some people...STOP BUGGING ME!!!!!! I know what to do! Some idiot should start being active rather than passive, you will get nowhere otherwise.

There you got it

Heroes or ghosts

This is a great song from my fav Irish band "The Coronas"

Worry

Been extremely uncharacteristically worried this past few days. I don't know why. Can you possibly feel lonely in a sea of people? I guess you can. Slightly pissed off about something. You see, "colours" come out after some times and no matter what you still have to bare it. I'm slightly and slowly going insane.

Top 5 things that I worry about these days:

1. Thinking about finals and how to do well.
2. Thinking about how get an intern post.
3. Thinking about how to pay back the scholarship if I had too.
4. Thinking about how short life is and how to make the most of it.
5. Thinking about the future and how unprepared I am to face it.
   

PS: On the prowl

I can't believe I'm saying this but I bump into a HAWT redhead in a form of an ortho Reg. He kindly oblige to teach me some bone x-rays, happiness! Why oh why does all the cute ones end up in orthopaedic?

Selamat Hari Raya

About 1 more week, it will be Hari Raya! Oh, how I miss the Raya season back home. Visiting friends and eat delicious food. To all my friends who are celebrating, enjoy! Whilst everyone was busy, I skip hospital early today because A&E is boring and no one wants to teach us. So, I'll be spending the afternoon typing my surgical case. *Secret life of a medical student*

As, usually every big companies will compete for the best Raya advert, here is the best so far...isk...isk...

Surgery

I'm officially in a surgical team for 4 weeks. Very busy day of lecture, there is no time to even go to the wards to see patients. PANIC TIME!!! Need a surgical history for upload. Must get tomorrow! Spoon feeding is nice after 1 year of SDL in 4th Med. But this meant more study time and constant non-stop revision. Feb 2009 in the much dreaded written finals, and I have to do well because I owe it to myself. I'm not sure about the criteria of obtaining "honours" but would try my best. Somebody told me that you have to get all hons in SC1 subject to given hons in the final. I'll find out.

The end of summer holiday

Tonight is officially the last night of my summer holiday. In about 15 minute plus, I am a Final year student. Yes, I'm a final med student. It seem only yesterday that I started first year, oh time passed extra fast in med school. In about approximately 8 months hopefully I'll graduate with DR in front of my name. I'm dreading it....scary prospect of finally having to work to earn a living.

I'm stranded...

On the other note, I want one of these

*Tom Mison*

*Jonathan Bennet*

Movie

Got through the written Paeds exam today. Fair questions but not enough time. Did my best and fingers crossed. Till Thursday for clinical exams (Oh!!! Ridiculous). Watch a very cool movie few days ago. Would try to find the DVD. "Broken English" portray the very fear of singledom of modern women, yet love triumphant! Be spontaneous, be brave. As a character said "Most people are together just so they are not alone. But some people want magic. I think you are one of those people." That touched the soul and I found it painfully true. Do watch this movie and I'm sure you'll at least shed a tear.

Sacrifice, I don't think it's fair!

I'm in crappy mood yet again. Whilst others are enjoying life and hanging out with the uber-cool, I'm stuck with a paediatric text book for the upcoming exams. I don't think sacrifice is a good word, it's a rather oxymoron expression. A true sacrifice would be rewarded in the end, but sacrificing life for a bloody exam will never be rewarded. SORRY, I'm a bit snappy today. I had disrupted sleep for the pass few days, sign of anxiousness and dreading the exam. Here is what I have to put up with and "sacrifice":

1. Russian Classical Ballet performing Swan Lake one day only in NCH Dublin, which is TODAY!
2. Jean-Yves Thibaudet Piano Concert on the 16 Sept 2008, guess what, I'm having exam on that day!

Medical schools are crap in considering the mental wellbeing of its students. I sometimes sit down and think, why the hell I enter med school?! It's too late to rewind. If I had my way, I'd quit and go to famous cooking schools in France or US to be a chef!!! But this is unlikely because I've to consider paying back my scholarship.

On the other note, I came across my all time favorite gay guy, Kyan Douglas of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Loved that show. I wish all straight guys are like him except that they are straight. Yes, I'm crazy.

PS: Perhaps once the exam is over I'll take up a private tutoring on how to beautify my blog from a BFF. Happy birthday to you!!

Food diary: Milan

After a train ride from Venice we arrive in Milan. Got a nice hotel which I would definitely come back again to. And Milan was HOT! Omg, the heat is overwhelming! Literally drop our bags and freshen up, and went straight to San Siro Stadium, home of AC Milan and Inter Milan. Milan is not for the history crazy and culture vulture. Its an industrial city with a flair for fashion, and thats about it. If your gold is to shop then Milan would be lovely, but I was into history and culture so it wasn't up my alley.

Day 3: Eating in posh place and found the best gelato in Italy so far.

After walking around the Il Duomo, La Scala and the surrounding, had an early dinner in the Galleria Vittorio Emmanuelle. Tried the fried seafood and the rissoto. I'm not crazy about the porcini rissoto. I've tasted better in my lifetime and it was in Kota Kinabalu, back home in Malaysia. But the place was nice and everyone is happy to finally sit under the shades. Afterwards, walky-walky again. Came across Grom, a gourmet gelato shop! Quite near Duomo, but walk up a bit (you can google it). I bought nocciola again and dark chocolate. OMG! I have just found a piece of heaven on earth in the form of dark chocolate gelato! This shop alone is worth the trip to Milan for. Its organic and it uses fair trade product. Then a friend bought pistachio. Definitely the best of all pistachio gelato I've tried in all of gelato session I had in Italy! So after the tiring walk, head back to hotel and get ready for Florence the next day.

Food diary: Venice

Oh Venice, the canals and gondolas! So this is my second time to Venice. This time its during summer. Loved every second of it except for the hot sun. 4 years in Dublin had made me a Yeti that prefers cold weather! But the sun is glorious and refreshing after the bad rainy Dublin forecast. So what do I eat in Venice? I'm trying to remember.

Day 1: Searching for gelato and authentic pasta.

By the Piazza San Marco, the small gelateria nearby is not bad, but if you're looking for pistachio flavour skip on it. So off we go looking for the real one, but failed. Anyway I settle for nocciola (hazelnut) and caffe (coffee). After walking around and looking into shops, we stop for dinner at a restaurant by the canal near the Rialto bridge. Passed by the first restaurant whereby I snubbed a cute waiter trying to get us to eat there. Why? Because I was ogling him and he noticed! Anyway walked up to the third one and sat there. I had Spaghetti Frutti de Mare (seafood spaghetti). It was lovely but not 10 out of 10. I'd give it 6/10. A friend had a lobster pasta, that I rate 8/10, and another had Fetuccini Funghi (mushroom fetuccini) I rated 7/10.

Day 2: Still looking for the ultimate gelato.

Had a late lunch this time, actually it was breakfast and lunch at the same time at 3pm. Had a nice salad which I forgot the name of and Spaghetti Carbonara. It was so creamy that I couldn't finished it. I never not finish my food! By the by, it was delicious. On our way back to Piazzale Roma, stumble across a busy gelato shop behind a church. Seems that all the locals stop by so it must be famous. So we decided to try! Finally, a genuine pistachio gelato! Yummy! Tips to all, if the colour is bright green, it is not the real deal! For a real pistachio....light brown with tinge of green is the way to go. After the delicious ice cream, its time to pack up for Milan! Oh, bought pizzas takeaways for dinner in the hostel. Love the ones with anchovies, tomatoes, and mushroom.

Another chapter close: Eulogy

Was walking around town when I got a call saying my grandfather passed away. He was doing gardening when he had what I should say fatal MI. My reaction to mum's phonecall: Oh! So what now? When are you going back home for the funeral?

I'm amazed at how I act. In my imaginary world I would think I would cry but in reality of it, I just pause...let it sink and move on. Don't get me wrong, I am sad but I'm not going to wail my feelings out. I'm not so emotionally close to my grandfather as I would like to be. Growing up, I remember him as a very strict and fierce person. But the flaws work for him, producing good children and grandchildren with strong character and will. He had MI in 1994 resulting in CBAG. Still stubborn as he is, he continued smoking, old habits die hard they say.

I'm unable to fly back and attend the funeral. But I know in spirit I would be there to say my goodbye. I am sad that he couldn't live to see his grandchildren graduate as doctors. His dream was to see us graduate and help others in need. One more year.....one more year is more than enough. But God love His people and take care of them. The coincident is that in few days is my maternal grandfather death anniversary. I hope they join together in heaven and able to see us and care for us from above.

So, in this, I would say that I will not cry. I refuse to remember dear grandpa in sadness but I will remember him in happiness, knowing that he lived a good life and loved by the family.

Coming back for more...

‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight

Love Letter by Captain Wentworth (Persuassion)

Dearest Anne,

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice, when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating in F.W. I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.

F. Wentworth

North & South

If you like period drama watch this miniseries. An adaptation of the novel North & South. A very touching story back in the Industrial times in the old Britain. Look up North & South in youtube by MissJaneAustenfan. Enjoy the show!!!! And who would not love an eye candy in the form of Richard Armitage. Due to my randomness today, I found this video. Blame it on my hormones!

The essence of what love should be

Another crazy weather on Sunday!

It is raining with turbulence wind outside. Woken up by the sound of something flown by the wind that smash at my window. Scary! Update of the week, not much happening. A friend had flown back home therefore I'll be alone in hospital. Thankfully there are some familiar faces in other teams around hospital. I'm starting Cardiology tomorrow, so you'll hear me banter about ECGs, cases and heart problems soon enough. Fun huh? NO!!! Not when you're suppose to be on holiday! This is self inflicted sacrifice...but it's worth it in the end. At least my brain is working in slow motion instead of letting it freeze off during holiday.

I'm thinking of writing some paper for the RSCmj and there are 3 titles I'm thinking of doing. Eventually I abandon my GP paper review because my title is too complicated. Typical me! Health of Eastern European migrant in GP setting is not an easy topic since not many has been done except for asylum seeker.

3 topic to think about for RCSmj:

1. A comparison of medical versus interventional therapy for the treatment of coronary artery disease.
2. Challenging stigma and discrimination in the mentally ill.
3. Art and medicine: The link.

So if you have any thought about any of the topics please drop a note.

I'll leave you tempted by the delicious photo of sushi!

Clouds and rain

Here again after a long while. Its 2 weeks since I start elective, 4 weeks more to go. Can't wait to finish it all. Not a good week last week, Prof is not impressed with my performance and I'm disappointed. Starting tomorrow I need to redeem myself, it's vital to save my face for future use. Nothing worse that being put on spot with questions shooting from every direction during ward rounds and not able to answer correctly. Give me a break, I just finished my exams, and my head is still full with other stuff beside Med&Surg.

Anyway, good people of blog reader I been wanting to talk about food for along time. Yesterday was an impromptu cookout session before a friend goes back home for holiday. On the menu:

• Starter: Sushi
• Main course: Nasi Lemak, Sambal & Chicken Curry
  
• Dessert: Hot Tea & Toffee Popcorn

Initially I was thinking of making lemon polenta cake with raspberry and choco chips, but too much hassle...maybe next time. My mum and sister are in Vienna at the moment. I remember my trip to Vienna few years ago with delicious food in special seafood chain, Nordsee! The sausages with melted cheese in the middle....heavenly! Didn't get the chance to eat the original Sachertorte with Viennese coffee. Next time perhaps!

Need to get back to gym next week too. Been very lazy this week, thanks to long hours in hospital. Start my day at 5am so that I can squeeze in some breakfast before taking the early bus in order to be in hospital before 8am. Then hours of standing and talking to patients.....thanks to the library giving us space to rest and catch up with some sleep in between breaks hahaha. By 6pm, finish...arriving home at 7pm. Phew!

I'm an art junkie

I've been addicted to art since the stresses of exams force me to find solace in something. This is the time I really discover art and fall in love. The BBC Simon Schama's Power of Art is a powerful 8 series of lecture talking about the life, the works and the stories behind some of the most celebrate artists known to the world. So, in my attempt to educate and broaden the mind of some individuals, I really recommend watching the attached videos!

Carravagio


Bernini


Rembrandt


David


Turner


Van Gogh


Picasso


Rothko

God is so good and ever blessing

After a slightly boring day in hospital, a friend and I went back early and decide to go to gym. 4 years in medical school, this is the first time I went to the college gym....should've start earlier. Walked for 40min on the treadmill, work up a bit of sweat and then decided to go home before traffic go mad. Can't wait to buy a proper running shoe and gym attire on sale in Kildare Village soon.

Update on exams, I passed with honours for General Practice and Psychiatry exams. Finally, I'm good at something. This up coming final med will see me fighting hard. For my own self satisfaction, I wish to do well and with the help of good friends around me, I hope I can. I also sincerely pray that all my friends will do well, especially those BFFs (you know who you are).

Plan for the week, elective attachment and gym in the evenings. Probably staying for on-call with the medical team this Friday and post-call ward round on Saturday morning. Hah! Sweet life of a medical student.

Randomness: Jane Austen and Gordon Ramsay

Now that I'm officially on holiday, here is some nice stuff you can watch on youtube. If you are a fan of Jane Austen checkout MissJaneAustenfan on youtube for an amazing collections of Jane Austen adaptation and period dramas such as North & South. Be warned, once you start you never stop! Safe to say, I LOVE MY JANE AUSTEN! No one can do it better than her. Surely this put pressure on modern men to be as equal as Jane Austen's heroes. My favourite? Definitely Mr. Darcy and Captain Wentworth.

And If you're up for some cooking with Gordon Ramsay, lookup Postmester for F-word Kitchen series! Easy recipes and quality food! There is no excuse for not knowing how to cook, and I agree with him.

So, enjoy your viewing and give me some thoughts on Jane Austen works if you like.

Selamat Gawai Dayak

Hah, it has been a tiring 3 days. This is post exam time. Thankfully I passed my Obs&Gynae and GP exams, now I only have to wait for Psych and ENT result. Straight after getting the result, went shopping with a friend in town, then the next day to Kildare Village and bought a discounted summer short at Ralph Lauren. That place have decent discounts but too bad they don't have much in my size. So....earlier today (or should I say yesterday) I went to the farmer's market and bought a slice of polenta lemon cake and salmon quiche....yum! After that, meet up with a friend and talk about exam again! Then the usual walk around town with the rest of the gang to buy some summer essential for my TRIP to ITALY and GREECE in mid July for 2 weeks!!!!! I can't wait.

Starting my clinical elective with the Respiratory team this Tuesday for 3 weeks, then another 3 weeks with Cardiology team. I hope I make a good impression and gain something out of it. Hospital politics are very troublesome sometimes, I just hope that I can get a place for internship by early next year.

It Gawai back home, I've nobody to celebrate with except my brother who is too busy studying for exams and refuse to go out for lunch. So I decided to go to church later today and offer my prayer of thanks and praise. Pray also for health of the family and let them have a nice Gawai.

Ask and He will listen

For a brief 2 hours, I went through the worse ordeal a med student could have. I thought I had failed my Obs & Gynae paper when the OSCE list was publish. Then mistakes were noticed and the exam office were notified. Thankfully, the new list is up and I'm qualified for OSCE. Thanks be to God. I have never been so thankful and solemnly pray that God will continue to bless me as He always are. I'm forever humble and seeks guidance for the upcoming OSCE. Pray for the examiners and patients, so that they will be fair and helpful. Pray for my fellow classmates so that they will do well too.

Another lazy Sunday afternoon

Here I am at my study desk trying to STUDY. Looking out of my room window....a perfect blue sky and sun shining it's glory. The back garden is clean and clear, after yesterday session of pulling grass and weed while wearing heels. Yes, gardening can be sexy. Any spare heels that you have, use them while gardening. Reason for that being: You can show off your shoe, break the shoe to make it more comfy for future use and imagine for a second that you are Eva Longoria in DH. But if you have, Jimmy Choo or Louboutin, don't do this a home, love you shoes as you love yourself!

Next coming week is the last week for exams. My all being is hoping that I'll get through to qualify for Obs & Gynae OSCE. The list is coming out tomorrow, and I pray to God that I'm in the list. There nothing worse that failing Obs & Gynae because you don't want to repeat it all over again. For those who aspire to be one big shot Obs/Gyn Specialist, good luck and I hope you don't turn up bitter like the infamous Obs & Gynae Specialist who find pleasure in torturing medical students. I can't not imagine how it feels to have hundreds of student dramatically hate them. How does the soul handle that? But then, they must have no soul in the first place anyway, right? I pray that one day they will see how tortured we single cell Amoeba med students are. Trying to read up, but.....what if I'm not in the list? It's catch 22 isn't it? Just to calm myself, I better read and hope that I'll go through OSCE and pass. Those who aim for 1st class, good luck, you'll be even lucky to just pass!!! The exam last Thursday are not undergraduate level but rather for MRCOG level. NOT FAIR!!!

So what can I feed you with today. OK, some travel stuff. If you're itching to learn about the glorious Italy, look up Francesco's Italy in youtube for a 4 episode series of Italy: Top to Toe. Very nice show with a funny charming presenter, Count Francesco da Mosto. His jokes are hilarious.

I love you!

Controversial title....I know! Anyway the American Idol season 7 had a winner already. This guy, David Cook is definitely worth the vote! The best part, he did a rendition of my all time favourite Mariah Carey song "Always Be My Baby". So have a listen, then you'll know why I'm in love!

"Hawt-ness" by Henry Cavill

History, his story and hi-story

History, his story and hi-story. What do you see in history? Is it merely an event or an interpretation of event? History as we know are learned from thick dusty books in the library. Books telling the story of what happen at a particular situation. Do you believe in history and learn from it? Imagine history as a cube of cheese with holes in it. How to interpret the cheese? Only from one view? Or the full six-sided view? Think about it.

Always been fascinated by history, I learned a lot about the way people are from their history and heritage. Medieval times, Renaissance, dark ages, the Industrial movement, Reformation and the likes of Machiavelli, Erasmus, and More, are just some of the things I remember reading about. The centuries of kings and queens are particular interesting to learn. So, I stumble across the TV series The Tudors and decide to watch it. Just to decide how much it is true and whether the history text book we used in school are accurate. Sadly I just learned that the newer text are much shorter therefore less history. It was unbelievable to learn that highschool youths doesn't know what 'The Enlightenment" are! They don't even know who Descartes, Hume, Paine, Rousseau and Voltaire were. Such a waste of knowledge.

So if you're up for a bit of history, look up The Tudor. From what I learn, you can see what happened centuries ago are not to much different as in today times such as:

• Vile individuals using power to get what they want.
• Using beliefs as reason for self importance.
• Man justifying affairs as easy as eating bread.

But from history, we learn. Therefore because we learn, we hopefully would not repeat history. So check out the series if you're interested and look out for Sir Charles Brandon! Played by Henry Cavill.

Movie update and eye-candy

Amidst my normal boring day reading O&G since last Wednesday, I've decide to finish up my ENT revision for the Monday exam. Hopefully it will go well, and with any mercy, probably and wishfully hopeful for a better ENT examination papers as a mood pickup and confidence boost for the O&G papers and Psych OSCE. This is the epitome a medical student life. Studying non-stop (I wish) and worrying my head thinking about exams. I'm officially freaking out, my hair is falling off, spots on my face, panda eyes, and crap exam diet (Gordon Ramsay will be ashame of my culinary supply during exam months). Thankfully there is no annual exam season mucosal ulcers this time.

So, came across this movie trailer. Twilight, coming out end of this year. Looks interesting, plus I'm fascinated by vampires and dracula. NO I'M NOT A GOTH! The best thing I'll be looking forward to about this movie is Robert Pattinson. You may remember him as Cedric Diggory in "Harry Porter and the Goblet of Fire". Total eye candy!!! I can't wait for the movie. Enjoy the trailer courtesy of youtube.

On the sideway

I enjoy this song very much, so I thought I'd share. One of the cute song ever.

"Am I alone in your heart?
Have I hope with your heart?
She's such a teaser, she's such a star.
Give me a reason or gimme a chance.
Am I alone in your heart, or am I alone...?
It tears me apart.
Am I alone?
Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat."

Look it up in youtube Heartbeat by Scouting for Girl

All in a day's work

Feeling much better today. Yesterday was pretty bad day. GP OSCE was pretty horrible, I hope I did well, that being said there are always things you want to do better and wished you had done better. I'm having a clear mind today after a much needed explanation. So no worries anymore. A big SIGH!

Should have stayed longer in the library but finding it too much stress today. Obs and Gynae is killer subject, therefore my frustration is allowed. So took off early and visited a friend who had just given birth a baby girl. Congratulations and all the best to Nana! Take good care of little Sophia.

I'm trying to write up some food stuff soon. But not too soon, my coming two weeks will see me going mad in the library and praying for the most Divine blessing and guidance from God for the exam. Simply saying, my life depends on this exams.

So that all in a day's work, Dublin weather is acting much better this few weeks. Glad to see the sun and clear blue sky again. Hope I didn't jinx it, for I want it to stay longer. I leave this post with my favourite "Raindrop Prelude" by Chopin.

Worry is not a good company

Something is brewing back home, I knew it. Is it a bad one? I don't know. I hope it's not as bad as I imagined. Got some news that, someone close is changing school just after 1 day. What with all the time and money wasted just to move again? I don't understand, unless something totally unacceptable had happened.

So off they go again to register in a new school, a nearer one to home. Shhh...let me tell you, I've gut feeling that this is going to happen. Not that I'm a smart*ss, I just know it's gonna happen. Tried to get them tell me but they're still busy with arrangements.

Long time ago, I had belief everything around me is picture perfect. Everything always comes to place just as I expected. Then growing up seems to distort the picture. Everything change, bit by bit the picture is smudged, scratched, and seems...not perfect anymore. Some I can handle, some are just plain heartache. One way or the other, it makes me the way I am now. Like it or not, I have to accept it.

For my little someone, stay strong for me. Rise above it all and prove to yourself that you are worth it. Realize that you are not a smudge in that picture but a rainbow in a masterpiece.

Ode to Chopin

6 hours post psychiatry exams. I'm raking my head thinking of what to write in my blog today. I was so stressed out and turn to my iTunes for my Chopin music. Feeling much better and relaxed, I finally had an idea. You might think this title is boring and arty but this is what I'm passionate about. So my dear friends, I introduce to you, Frederic Chopin!

Chopin was born in Warsaw, Poland to a French father and Polish mother. Growing as a child pianist prodigy, he move to Paris at the age of 20 and establish himself as one of the greatest piano virtuoso. Leading the Romantic movement, he is famous for his ballades, sonatas, nocturnes and many more. Living in a foreign country, he was a very patriotic and always longing for his home. Sadly, he suffer from what was a very treatable disease today but fatal back then, pulmonary tuberculosis. Being a romantic himself, he had a will written regarding for his death arrangement in 1849,

"Bury me in Pere Lachaise, but send my heart back to Warsaw where I should rest in peace."

Thus, is a small summary of the greatest pianist. On my second trip to Paris in Dec 2007, I finally able to complete one of the "To Do List" in my life, visiting Chopin's grave in Pere Lachaise (thus the photo). It was a very gratifying moment. I wanted to lay roses on the grave but there are non available beautiful enough to symbolize my passion, love and thanks for his music. I've promise to visit again with flowers but until next time, your music will always be loved!

There is always a first time for everything

Being bored in a Sunday morning doing nothing but studying is not good for your health. Unless.....the next Monday is exam day. I humble myself to start this blog thing everybody being raving about for long time. Thanks to some very good friends who supplied me with their antics through blogging, I've decided that this thing is fun and therapeutic.

I'm a beginner at this so have some pity. Now, deciding my blog theme. I've decide to only write about the beautiful things in life, namely food, travel, music, intellectual thoughts and comedy.

So off I go now, tidying up my blog and studying psychiatry at the same time.

(Multitasking is a good brain exercise regime)